Who Moved

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sunday driver 300x300 Who Moved

I heard this story somewhere years ago and it stuck with me.

A married couple was driving down the road. The wife turned to the husband and said, “What’s happened with us?”
“What do you mean?” the husband asked.
She said, “We’re not like we used to be.”
“How did we used to be?” the husband asked.
“We were closer. More connected. We held hands all the time. In fact, here’s a perfect example right now. Remember when we’d get in the car, and we’d sit right next to each other, with me there in the middle.”
The husband turned to her and said, “Who moved?”

Today’s message in Jesus Calling reminds me of a spiritual application to this cute story. When I feel far from God … it’s NOT Him who moved! It’s me!

What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you. Genesis 28:15

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Romans 8:31

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8

My feelings some times lie. They tell me that I am alone, that no one cares, that I have to defend myself.

This is truth … He is with me! He will protect me and provide for me! He will never leave me! He stands for me! He never changes!

I need to focus more on the truth!

~~~~~

I have managed, with all the stress and change in my life, to completely ignore the upcoming tax deadlines. One of these years our accountant is going to reach the end of his patience with me! Anyway procrastination must come to a close so I will be offline tomorrow until I get it pulled together enough to pass it on. My ex-employer deleted my password and online access so I can’t even get my W-2s. Good grief!  Pray for me!

~~~~~

The Joy Dare

6 – 3 Gifts Nailed Together (Jesus on the Cross)

a house to shelter my family

chairs to relax in when we have grown weary

beds to sleep in at the end of long exhausting days

7 – 3 Gifts Waited For (Jesus in the Tomb)

work/income

comments/followers – trying to relax about this but they are a precious gift when they come!

publication … maybe? someday?

8 – 3 Gifts Rising Up (He is Risen!)

hot dinner rolls fresh from the oven

Psalms (and other songs) of prayer and praise

every morning that we rise up from our slumber

April 8, 2012

Focus!

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We learn much of our perception of who God is from our relationships with our earthly fathers. The thing is that our earthly fathers are human beings who make mistakes and some times they unintentionally leave us with very wrong impressions!

My dad was a good dad. Not perfect … but good. But from him I learned that fathers play for a while but they get tired of playing faster than their children do and then they get angry if the children continue in their exuberance. And I expected God to do likewise … to play with me for a while and then tire of me and punish me for not automatically knowing the boundary lines.

My dad’s sense of humor was sometimes painful for me. He is a tease. And God gave him a child (me) that doesn’t respond well to teasing. There were times when he terrified me even though I loved him and knew he would never hurt me. And I expected similar treatment from my Heavenly Father and I lived in fear … not respect … fear of Him.

My dad wanted to impress us. As a parent I understand this. As a child … I was impressed! One morning he magically changed the colors of our cereal and I was convinced that my dad could do magic. I went to school and bragged to my classmates about my magician dad. They told me they would only believe me when he came and showed them. I begged him to come. He told me he couldn’t. He didn’t have time. And I learned that I was unimportant. He didn’t “have my back.” And I expected the same from God.

I had a recurrent nightmare for years! It still comes up when I’m particularly stressed. I am lying on my back, unable to move, and a giant thumb is lowering towards me. As if to smash me like a bug. I focus on the thumb print as it draws nearer. Trying to figure out who it is and why they want to hurt me. As it comes closer it becomes hard to focus. I try to squirm away but I’m unable to move. I always wake up, terrified, just as the thumb touches my nose.

The nightmare plagued me almost nightly through my teens and much of my 20s. There were nights when I didn’t want to go to sleep because I knew it was coming. At some point I figured out that the thumb … my torturer … belonged to God. And trusting someone who wanted to smash me like a trapped insect just didn’t seem too smart!

My name is Beth. I’m a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. And I struggle with trust! I struggle to believe that God is a good God who loves me, has a plan to prosper and not to harm me. I struggle to believe that He is working everything together for my good. Some days I struggle to believe that I am saved!

I have wondered how do I get past this. Past my own doubts, ingrained so deeply in me and refusing to budge, how do I CHOOSE to trust ANYWAY?

Waiting for Me to work, with your eyes on Me, is evidence that you really do trust Me. If you mouth the words “I trust You” anxiously trying to make things go your way, your words ring hollow.

Did you catch it? The clue. The answer. Not necessarily easy but definitely simple … keep your eyes on Me! Spend time in His word. Fill my world with music that ministers to my spirit and speaks truth to my heart. Gather with other believers who will lift and encourage me. Pray continually. Do whatever it takes to keep Him the target that my life is pointing towards! Watch for what He is doing. Go where He is leading. One choice. One step. One at a time. Focus!

The Joy Dare

11 – 3 Gifts Read

This would need to be a post unto itself but my Bible reading the other day took me across a verse that stated that in the Garden, Jesus prayed, knowing fully EVERYTHING that was about to happen to Him. Something in that really struck me hard and I’m still mulling it over.

Alycia’s Facebook posts because she always makes me laugh!

The book, You’re Already Amazing, which I apparently promised to read and review. (I lost the paperback copy somewhere so I bought the e-book.) Speaking truth and healing to my hurting heart.

12 – a gift in wind, in water, in white

Watching Tigger attack the laundry room window – trying to get to the shadow of a branch blowing in the wind!

I’ve mentioned it before but watching my cats respond to running water is a constant source of amusement for me.

The soft chewy inside of a hand-tossed pizza crust – yum!

March 12, 2012

Limiting God

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Do we limit God’s freedom, and ability, to work in our lives by our responses to daily trials? My quick response would be to say “no, because He is all powerful and I am not strong enough to control Him!” Obviously at least the latter part of that statement is true. I cannot control God. BUT … He has given us free will and He has chosen to control Himself to respect our choices, even when He knows they will bring us pain, and allow us to reap the consequences! I limit His ability and freedom to work in my life because He gave me that power when He gave me freedom of choice.

Jesus Calling – March 5

I can fit everything into a pattern for good, but only to the extent that you trust Me. Every problem can teach you something, transforming you little by little into the masterpiece I created you to be. The very same problem can become a stumbling block over which you fall if you react with distrust and defiance. The choice is up to you, and you will have to choose many times each day whether to trust Me or defy Me.

He WANTS me to become a Masterpiece! But I have to stay on the potter’s wheel and remain pliable, surrendered, obedient.

I was thinking about this and I got a humorous mental image of myself as a piece of clay that chose to jump off the wheel, out of the master’s hands, and onto the floor. Now I’m rolling around, thinking I’m free, but I am picking up bits of dirt, dust, straw, trash, etc. I am becoming ugly and dirty as I wander free of His hands. And eventually I realize that I am not living up to my potential. I am not becoming the thing of beauty and service that I was meant to be. I’m not a plate, a bowl, a pitcher, a vase. I’m an ugly, dirty, useless lump of clay. And so I roll back to the Master’s feet. And I surrender. And He picks me up and removes most of the debris and dirt … though some of it has dug so deep that it has left scars that cannot be removed. And I am so sorry. But He tells me that it’s okay … He can make those scars part of my beauty. And He places me back on the wheel … and I surrender …

CHOOSE! Today. Every day. Will you roll around on the floor of the shop, or worse yet, beyond it’s doors? Or will you stay on the wheel, in the hands of the Master, surrendered, and becoming a Masterpiece?

We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose. Romans 8:28 AMP

The Joy Dare

4 – 3 Gifts Hard to Give Thanks For

debt – keeps me reliant on God for provision of our needs

health issues – reminds me that every moment is a precious gift and we are not promised tomorrow

trials of the last several years have matured me and made me stronger

5 – 3 Gifts Found

I really wish I could say my PhotoShop Elements which I bought this past summer, never opened, and haven’t seen since. Or even the book, “You’re Already Amazing, that I know came in the mail recently and has disappeared! But those things are still “missing.”

A renewed love, and focus, for my writing.

Peace, for the moment, with God’s direction and timing for my work situation

Online friends … old & new … each one is a precious gift!

March 5, 2012

Learning to Trust

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“Thank you Lord for this opportunity to learn to trust You!” That’s what my Jesus Calling calendar said the other day. It has been marinating in my head, and heart, ever since. What an awesome response to a trial (there is a certified letter from the IRS waiting for me at the post office), a worry (my husband’s health is not good and the doctor continues to say “but the tests are normal”), an uncertainty (I still want a different job, though my heart is REALLY to be able to work from home, and I have no idea how or when that will work out), etc. It is not the first response of my mind, or heart, but it could become a disciplined one. And perhaps through the discipline … my nature will change!

Philippians 4:6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

The Joy Dare

March 1 – 3 Gifts at 3 PM

exhaustion – and knowing that I can go home in just 2 hours

work finished, freedom to engage in social media for a little while

reading a blog posts that inspires me, convicts me, or makes me laugh

March 2 – 3 Gifts Green

my eyes – which I think are my best (physical) feature

Josiah’s eyes – like mine but different – his tend more to blue gray

stray bits of grass, leaves on trees, blooms on plants – promises of Spring

March 3 – 3 Gifts Worn

old shorts and t-shirts – my comfortable weekend chores attire

ancient crocs – shaped by wear to the shape of my foot

denim jackets – comfort, light warmth, protection from the wind (whipping cross the plains!)

March 3, 2012

Building Memorials

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Trust Me enough to face problems as they come, rather than trying to anticipate them. Fix your eyes on Me, the author and Perfecter of your faith, and many difficulties on the road ahead will vanish before you reach them. – Jesus Calling - February 14

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

Isaiah 41:13

For I hold you by your right hand—
I, the LORD your God.
And I say to you,
‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.

Trust. It doesn’t come naturally to me. Maybe not to you either. Some of us just seem to have to work at it harder than others. There are events, moments in time, choices made by myself and other people, things that impacted who I would become, that may explain part of my struggle but a great deal of it seems to be ingrained in who I am!

My nature, through no fault of bad teaching, insists on perceiving God as harsh judge or angry parent rather than a loving Father. I have to constantly remind myself that the truth is in who He says He is … not who I perceive Him to be!

3 things really stood out to me in today’s reading:

1. Face problems as they come. One day, one step even, at a time! Not looking way off down the road trying to figure out how best to prepare and to defend myself. Just keep my eyes on Jesus and allow Him to carry me through THIS moment, this day! Tomorrow will take care of itself.

2. Focusing on the joy ahead allowed Jesus to endure the cross! We are a very temporal people … locked in time and space. Eternal perspective is hard for us. But I think maybe, in some measure at least, it’s a key to making it through our trials. Looking at Jesus, anticipating “well done” and Heaven’s glories, rather than focusing on the trials at hand … will enable us to endure! 

3. Isaiah 41:13 has been one of my *life verses* since January 10, 1990. I have often shared it with others who have been in a time of trial. I was at the tail end of 10 years of infertility, finally pregnant with my own miracle, lying on an operating table as my baby was delivered by c-section. I was completely strapped down except for one hand which Bert sat and held until our son was born. They showed me the baby and then whisked Josiah and Bert out of the OR. Almost immediately I felt like life was literally draining out of me. I totally expected to wake in Heaven in moments. I was at peace with that and yet … I wanted to live! I cried out to God and He gave me this verse, For I hold you by your right hand—  I, the LORD your God. And I say to you,  ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.‘

I suspect that PART of learning to trust God is setting up memorials. In the Old Testament people frequently piled up stones in a place where they had an encounter with God. I think that we too often say “Wow!” And then we move on … in danger of forgetting what He has done! We need to build memorials in words, music, art, whatever medium He has given us and say, for ourselves and for those who come later …

God touched me at this time and in this place! He provided for my need and showed me His mercy and goodness! Praise the Lord!

My blogs, are in part, a memorial to God’s work in my life. Thank you for walking beside me and sharing in lifting praises!

Joy Dare Prompts

3 gifts found in working ( sigh … thought about skipping right over this one … my job is not a happy place right now)

an empty Inbox (finished work)

words of support, appreciation, and encouragement from others

months with 5 Fridays (we get a paycheck with no deductions … only happens once in a great while)

3 hard eucharisteos

waiting for God to answer when I want to know what to do NOW

grace to endure the difficult (mini-strokes, cancer, prodigal children, etc.)

loneliness – knowing that even now I am not alone for God is with me!

3 gifts found behind a door

my cats waiting anxiously for me to come home

steaks in the refrigerator

a welcome from a friend

3 ways you feel the love of God

the warmth of the sunshine on a cold day

Springtime

the gift of my precious child

February 14, 2012

What are You Holding Onto?

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Shhhhh … my Inbox is empty!

I have been too busy lately to find much time to indulge in blogging, reading blogs, or my assorted social media addictions, but it looks like things may finally be slowing down!  Most high school seniors are advised to get their college applications in by February 1st at the very latest so from here until the next crop hits in late July … we should have a fairly light work load.

Here are a couple of messages, from Jesus Calling,  that have really stood out to me over the last few days …

February 5 -

To receive My Peace, you must change your grasping, controlling stance to one of openness and trust. The only thing you can grasp without damaging your soul is My hand. Ask My Spirit within you to order your day and control your thoughts …

Romans 8:6

So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.

Psalm 46:1-2

God is our refuge and strength,
always ready to help in times of trouble.
So we will not fear when earthquakes come
and the mountains crumble into the sea.

February 6

Lift up empty hands of faith to receive My precious Presence. Light, Life, Joy, and Peace flow freely through this gift. When your focus turns away from Me, you grasp for other things. You drop the glowing gift of My Presence as you reach for lifeless ashes. Return to Me; regain My Presence.

1 Timothy 2:8

In every place of worship, I want men to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, free from anger and controversy.

February 7

Come to Me for Rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life.

Romans 8:8 (AMP)

So then those who are living the life of the flesh [catering to the appetites and impulses of their carnal nature] cannot please or satisfy God, or be acceptable to Him.

Psalm 42:11

Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

February 8

I guarantee that you will always have problems in this life, but they must not become your focus. When you feel yourself sinking in the sea of circumstances, say “Help me, Jesus!” and I will draw you back to Me. If you have to say that thousands of times daily, don’t be discouraged. I know your weakness, and I meet you in that very place.

Matthew 14:28-32

 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”

 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.

   So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus.  But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

 When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped.

Before we go any further, I want to say something about Peter. He gets a bad rep for sinking BUT:

  • He believed he could do the impossible!
  • He got out of the boat!
  • He walked on water!
  • He knew what to do when he started to sink …. he didn’t reach back for the boat … he reached out for Jesus!

I have admitted that I’m a control addict,  haven’t I? If not … there you have it, I, Beth Zimmerman, am a control addict. I fuss. I fidget. I plan. I manipulate. And God knows I worry! Lately it seems to me that all of the messages that the Lord is sending me are focused on letting go of that need for control and holding onto Him. Only Him! Perhaps part of the reason that I have fallen so far into this cycle of depression is that I am trying to hold onto the wrong things! Life is NOT going the way I planned. It’s not neat. It’s not orderly. Most of the time it’s not even fun! And I have been so focused on trying to pull the pieces back together and fix what’s broken … that I have kept God at arm’s reach. How ridiculous is it to know that my attitude has been, “Hang on a minute, Lord. I need to fix this. THEN I’ll deal with You are Your plans for me.” God’s plan for me is to let go of the broken. Quit trying to control the uncontrollable. Let go … and hold onto Him! Him alone!

The Joy Dare Prompts

7 – 3 Gifts Red

Icy cold watermelon on a hot summer day. Spitting seeds into the grass while the juice drips down my chin and falls sticky against my neck and chest.

Shiny red ribbons and bows on beautiful Christmas packages.

Crisp red apples in the fall.

8 – a gift broken, a gift fixed, a gift thrifted

My little bunny musical shelf-sitter, a gift from a long ago secret pal (forgotten who) – the cheerful little blue bird who sat on his back fell off.

My word tags (yes, I promised a post, I will get to it). They arrived – different than what I ordered. The artist graciously created a new set and sped them to me.

Clothing, I could afford, for a child who was growing faster than my budget could keep up with!

February 8, 2012

Heaven’s Trust Bank

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Just as He has, ever since I bought this little desktop calendar last October, God keeps using Jesus Calling to touch me right where I am … right now!

Yesterday …

Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I asset my sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence.

And today …

Every time you affirm your trust in Me, you put a coin into My treasury. Thus you build up equity in preparation for the days of trouble.  … The more you trust Me, the more I empower you to do so. … Store up for yourself treasure in heaven, through placing your trust in Me.

Let me (reluctantly but honestly) share with you something incredibly dumb that I did recently …. just adding to the stress in my life (and the lives of others) because I wasn’t content to wait on God’s timing …

A long time ago (I believed) God gave me a vision. There is a young lady, who shall remain nameless, who is a delight and I have thought since she and Josiah were in elementary school that they would wind up together. This wasn’t just mom matchmaking. I emphatically believe(d) her to be the right partner for him. (My belief is a little shaken at this point.) For some reason … the two of them have just never clicked. Now honestly … Josiah has never had a girlfriend and he wants to wait on the Lord’s timing. (Wise man!) But I was determined that they needed to be brought together to at least cement a close friendship and then God could draw them together. And I chattered at both of them. Josiah would laugh at me and tell me that I was going to get in trouble if I didn’t stop. Bert outright told me to stop. But me? I was busy doing “God’s work” and “nothing wrong” because I understood God’s plan and I was JUST wanting them to be friends. Only … she grew frustrated with me and asked me to please stop and told me that she would never go out with Joe even if he asked her for several reasons including the fact that she would always think he was with her to please me. That wasn’t true and it wouldn’t happen but …

I am a doer. I want to be active. I want to make things happen. But God seems to want me to learn to slow down … and wait! Build up a treasury in the trust bank and wait for HIM to work in people’s’ lives! Dirk, Erica, Naomi, Josiah, Bert’s health, my health, my grand-kids, our finances, etc. Not that I should do NOTHING but … when there is no clear next step, or when the Spirit tells me to be still (shut up) and wait … then I should wait! And that’s not doing nothing … it’s doing what He told me to do!

Okay … on to the Joy Dare …

First off …

BD12white GoingYall Heavens Trust Bank

Read the details here. Truly this was a miracle! And such a gift of grace!

Second …

Happy Birthday to my Josiah! You have been a gift from the very beginning and we thank God for you every day!

January 9, 2012 – a gift in your hand, a gift you walked by, a gift you sat with

Tickets to the Blissdom conference … out of the blue … a gift from a gracious friend

The way my dog gets so excited when she sees my car come down the street. She quivers from her nose to the tip of her tail in absolute delight at the simple fact that I am home!

A purring cat curled up on my chest moving his head so that I can better scratch in just the right spot.

January 10, 2012 – a gift that’s sour, a gift that’s sweet, a gift that’s JUST RIGHT

Lemon and / or Lime Wedges squeezed into ice water

My mom’s Penuche Fudge

Beef Back Ribs fresh off the smoker! No sauce needed. They are phenomenal!

January 10, 2012

One Word 2012 ~ Thankful!

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At the beginning of 2011, I chose trust as my one word, one goal, for the year. It is an area in which I continue to struggle. But I have had a revelation of sorts recently …

In order to fully trust God, I have to believe that He is good and has a good plan for me. Sounds simplistic and obvious, doesn’t it? Hang with me here. My brain knows those things about God but my heart continues to struggle, to expect Him to turn suddenly stern and angry, to tease me cruelly, to find humor in my pain, etc. I don’t consciously attribute such things to Him but my heart … my heart just isn’t sure! And in order to convince my heart of the truth of who God is, and how much He loves me, I need to constantly and consciously acknowledge and praise His goodness! I need to name the good gifts He has already given me … and in so doing … perhaps the trust will come naturally. I hope …

So, my one word for 2012 is thankful and my prayer is that, when I reach 2013, thankfulness will have changed my character and helped me to come closer to the full joy of my salvation!

One step closer to becoming a masterpiece!

December 31, 2011

It’s Been a Long Time Coming but …

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I am at peace.

Crossroads 300x245 Its Been a Long Time Coming but ...

There are still a LOT of hard things in my life BUT I get to choose how I will respond to them. Worry is natural … it’s human … it’s not what God wants for me. He wants me to CHOOSE to trust Him and to be content in all circumstances. Easy? No. Right? Yes.

I worry over Bert’s health. The man has been through the wringer in the last few years. He has degenerative arthritis and a pacemaker. He has had mini-strokes and 2 carotid artery surgeries. He is a cancer survivor. He is frequently fatigued and weak. It concerns me. But I cannot control how many days he is given … or what will happen on those days! I can choose to enjoy the days we have … or I can choose to panic over what the future might hold! I choose to be grateful for today!

There is a reason that Jesus told us not to worry about tomorrow (tomorrow will have enough worries of it’s own). Worry is a joy stealer! I need to STOP allowing it to steal my joy!

About my other topics of concern …

Dirk, as far as we know, has been deployed to Iraq again. We haven’t spoken to him in more than a year. I did notice that he, and his wife, were both on Yahoo Chat yesterday so I assume he is at least alive and kicking. Dirk has served several deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan. A couple of years ago he was in a vehicle that ran over a bomb. We were called in the middle of the night and informed that he was in critical condition. That was quickly downgraded and he was able to rejoin his platoon. But there was damage to his back and head. Some memories are just gone. And he is not the same person he was before. It is not an easy thing but we have to accept his choice to cut us out of his life and let the wounds heal. In our lives and his. Maybe someday God will restore those relationships. For now … we need to respect Dirk’s choices and trust God with the future. We need to let go of the pain and give way to joy.

Erica … I can’t even imagine what has driven her to the choices she is making. I think it is a combination of rejection by her birth mother, the death of several precious loved ones in her youth, some bad choices leading to regrets in her teens, poor self image, low self esteem, etc. She has expressed pride in herself that she fought bulimia and won. She doesn’t seem to realize that she traded one demon for seven worse ones.

“When a corrupting spirit is expelled from someone, it drifts along through the desert looking for an oasis, some unsuspecting soul it can bedevil. When it doesn’t find anyone, it says, ‘I’ll go back to my old haunt.’ On return, it finds the person swept and dusted, but vacant. It then runs out and rounds up seven other spirits dirtier than itself and they all move in, whooping it up. That person ends up far worse than if he’d never gotten cleaned up in the first place.” Luke 11:24-26 (The Message)

We are hoping, and praying, that something will reach her and she will turn around soon. Her children are suffering. We are hurt, sad, and angry. But we have to let go. The anger has not caused any resolution or improvement. Our hurt, sorrow and anger … just add to her guilt. We have to accept her choices (for her) and choose to be content … even joyful … not because of the circumstances but IN them.

Those grandkids? They are breaking my heart. They sound so sad when I talk to them and I want to rush in and fix their little worlds and huge hurts! I can’t. I can dwell on that and be miserable. Or I can accept it as reality and work to help improve it when and where I can!

And then there is J … He is who he is and he is a child of the King … one called into all the world … and I need to adjust to the reality that he is an adult and our time with him will be limited in the future.

I would love to be able to hold onto the simpler times. I can’t. And so I stand at a crossroads where I must choose between constant worry with misery or trust with joy. I’m trying really hard to choose trust. And He is rewarding me with peace.

October 21, 2011