It seems some times that my family has endured far too much heartbreak and stress over the past couple of years and yet … God has allowed each of these things … for purposes which I do not yet entirely understand. One thing that I have learned, in the journey so far, is that He has a way of eventually turning these tests into testimony! I believe that He is still doing so! That said … I need to back away from this online community for a time and invest myself more fully in the lives of the people around me! I need to remind myself of who, and what, truly matters, and pour my time and energy into those relationships. I love you guys … and I may, when I find moments, poke my nose into your little corners of the web to see how, and what, you are doing. But for the most part I firmly believe that God is calling me to a season of different purpose. To read books. To watch TV shows and movies with my husband and son. To play games with friends. To go on vacation. To wade in the surf and walk on the beach … or whatever may be the Oklahoma equivalent. To dive deep into the Word of God and His plans for my life! To risk loss and rejection by establishing relationships with the people who surround me. To learn (anew) to share my heart, it’s joys and it’s sorrows, with my husband … first and foremost. I need to proactively make sure he knows the cries of my heart … not sit back and assume that if he loved me he would read my blog!
I have … by allowing my life to become unbalanced, and thereby unhealthy, caused great heartache to those I love most! This cannot be allowed to continue. And as I have sought the Lord recently … begging for answers … He has told me that I need a sabbatical of rest from my online “addiction.” I need to unplug from my electronics until such a time as I am more securely plugged into Him and to my family, my friends, and my church.
I do not make this decision lightly. If you knew how I battle loneliness you would know that for me to walk willingly away from any relationship … even one that lives primarily on a computer screen … comes with “wailing and gnashing of teeth.” Okay … it’s NOT that bad but it is very difficult and it has come with tears. I will continue to pray for you … for Bob, who is battling cancer. For Jason, Noelle, and their precious Emily. For Chrissie … who has walked a path similar to mine in the difficult parenting of a wayward adult child. For Mike and Dana and their precious family. For Kerri, Nichole, Katherine and so many others who have truly become my sisters! For Stacy who I can call at midnight and say, “Pray over me! I’m in a crisis!” For so many others! I will miss you … and eventually … once I have discovered balance … and purpose … I will be back!
I will be back and hopefully when I get here I will have an amazing story of tragedy turned to triumph! Of God’s incredible grace and mercy poured out on those who love Him … and are called according to His purpose!
E-mail or call if you need me. I love you guys!