My husband stays in touch with people from his past. High school friends, people from the same little Texas town, old co-workers, people we went to church with years ago! Me? I barely stay in touch with my family. I have a few “old” friends on Facebook and we share chuckles over shared memories from time to time but there is no one in my life with whom I can sit down, over a cup of coffee, and discuss the good ol’ days and whatever happened to what’s her name and did you hear about so and so! Some times I wonder if there is something fundamentally wrong with me that I walk way, or drift away, and sever ties so completely. On the other hand … there is something to be said for living in the present.
Yesterday a lady that Bert knew from High School was in the area and she called him for directions to her hotel. Next thing I knew we were in the car headed to meet her at McDonalds. (I was appalled at that choice! McDonalds would not be my meeting place of choice but the frozen strawberry lemonade was pretty good!) It was a pleasant visit in spite of the fact that I have no clue about the people and places that peppered the conversation! It made me a little sad though. There is no one, outside of family, from my teens or before with whom I have any contact. I can barely remember the towns I lived in. Never mind the name of the street and who lived on which block next door to him who was dating her whose dad worked there, etc. You think I’m kidding? You should have heard them! It was fascinating. Kind of made me wish we had raised our kids in a small town. I’m not sure it would have kept them out of trouble entirely but there’s a good chance that we would have known soon enough to nip it in the bud!
Did you grow up in a small town? Wish you did? Live there now? And are there friends in your life today who have known you forever or do you tend to hold relationships more loosely? I’m really curious!
Twitter: donnabmcnicol
says:
I grew up in a small town in Mass, we moved in 9th grade to an even smaller town in NH. My parents then moved to FL in April of my senior year. From that point on, I never lived at one address more than two years until after the year 2000. I've had a lot of friends but very few close friends. None from my childhood at all…I completely understand. In the last 25 years, my husbands (late hubby & current) have been my best friend.
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I grew up (mostly) in Maine so there are no booming metropolae (what is the plural metropolis, anyway) in my youth either. I think as I have read through the comments here that I have realized that I *envy* his sense of connection with his history more than I do the small town. He keeps his bridges intact. I tend to burn mine and then dance in the ashes!
Twitter: fromtracie
says:
I grew up in a small-ish town. My husband grew up there too (but several years earlier than me, and by several, I mean 17), but he grew up in a smaller area of than I did (does that make sense?). As a great example, when we still lived there, we never had a trip to the store where one of us (usually my husband) didn't run into at least one person we knew. This includes the time we were at Wal-Mart and ran into his kindergarten teacher!
I was very happy to leave that small town almost five years ago, because there were too many memories and too much running into people at the store….but now that I've been away in a big city, I can definitely say that I miss certain things about small town living.
My recent post Dear Survivor – A Letter of Encouragement to Survivors of Abuse and Sexual Assault
That is tough, Tracie! I can't imagine having such bad memories so firmly connected to a place. … I didn't realize that Thomas was so much older than you! My hubby and I are 9 years apart.
Twitter: fromtracie
says:
It is a weird situation, because I also have lots of good memories. I think one of the biggest things was that my father still lives there….and that is a long story that is too much for your comment section, but I'll leave it at the fact that he was making life difficult for me, so it was nice to be in a big city and enjoy drama-free grocery shopping.
Yep. 17 years – but he doesn't look his age, even in pictures. We met in a bookstore, became friends, and then that friendship turned into more, and the rest is history….our 10 year anniversary is coming up this summer!
My recent post Dear Survivor – A Letter of Encouragement to Survivors of Abuse and Sexual Assault
Twitter: rorybore
says:
yep, small town for sure. Although my former small town has grown quite a bit in the 10 years since I moved away. to an even smaller town. LOL But I do still run into old friends when I go "home" to visit my parents. But after 10 years away….it's a little difficult to maintain friendships. especially since my current small town life keeps us pretty busy too.
It can definitely have a downside too – everyone knows your business! you can't hide that's for sure. but I do kind of like the idea that my children will grow up in a tight-knit community like I did. I don't think it's neccessary to have "friends for life"……just as long as the friends you do have are good.
Love the new look by the way!
Thanks Les!
I didn't really think about it when I wrote this but we actually lived in a VERY small time from 7th – 11th grades. Small as in no grocery store, no gas station, an unmanned Post Office and an abandoned railroad. But I remember the woods, the railroad, the empty roads and apple orchards better than I do any of the people. Maybe it's the sense of connectedness that I "envy" more than it is the small town?
I barely keep in touch with anyone from my past. I have a few regrets over losing touch with some people, but on the most part it's better. I /we have changed and grown over the years and there would be no place for most of them in my life as it is now. Thats not to say that I don't enjoy a catch up when I do bump into them.
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Twitter: jemifraser
says:
My hubby and I started dating at the end of high school, so we can do that all by ourselves – although my memory isn't very good! We do stay in touch more with his buddies – probably because when we started dating, we hung out with them then! And several of them were already my friends.
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Twitter: Rawknrob
says:
It's interesting for me to ponder, Beth. I great up in the anti-small town of Los Angeles. Moved to the SF Bay Area (much smaller, though still big city-ish) in the 90s. For the past year, since my move further North, I've been a small town girl. I like it much better here. But age and life stage and all have something to do with it. Facebook's brought me back in touch with lots of folks from my past in LA.
Blessings, and much thanks for your compassion.
xoRobyn
My recent post Now This is Paradise: Sundays in My City
Twitter: Rawknrob
says:
PS I meant I "grew" not "great up in"…Sure wasn't great. Morning typos are the most out-of-control for me. Cheers. =)
My recent post Now This is Paradise: Sundays in My City
I've lived in the same town all my life and the people I see socially are the ones I knew as a child. Suffocating! I'd love to have experienced living somewhere different but the opportunity never came up. Enjoy your expanse of experience
Rosalind Adam is Writing in the Rain
LA suburb for me. Beach city. I'm in touch with my BFF growing up. We've known each other for 30 years. I have reconnected with friends from high school thanks to facebook. Not deep relationships or anything, but I would be able to connect with them should I return to my hometown someday. It certainly was not a small town, so I am thankful for the relationships I did have and those that are still in my life ala facebook.
My recent post Community…in just 5 minutes
I took my last final of the semester this morning and have the entire summer off—no classes—yahoo! I’m really looking forward to catching up on all the blog reading I’ve missed out on lately. Be sure to write up a little tidbit about one of your favorite posts, or blogs—or share something of your own on “Pay It Forward” for May. I’ve appreciated your participation in the past. I’ll be making the rounds and seeing what everyone has been up to while I’ve been cramming for tests and writing essays … I can’t wait!
My recent post Pay It Forward ~ May 2012